So Long Single Life

You may have been single for a long time and have quite a circle of single friends who love their single lifestyle. But now they’re giving you grief because you’re getting married. You hear the jokes. You put up with the snickers and snide remarks. How do you manage all this and help them understand that you’re happy to be getting married?

Tricky stuff, to be sure, and sometimes you may even loose a friend or two through this transition time. You know that you can’t continue your single lifestyle after you marry, and this is important to recognize early on. You also know that you must keep your mate first, even over your best friend. But how do you manage all this?

First, discuss this transition with your friends. Help them understand that your friendship doesn’t have to be threatened by your upcoming marriage. But also let them know that your priorities have and should change—your fiancé comes first from now on. And encourage your friends to affirm your marriage, not fight against it. Ask them to be positive and encouraging to your face—and to others.

Unfortunately, there may be one or two who just don’t get it. They want things to stay the same, even when that’s not the best thing to do. Realize that this reaction may stem from immaturity, ignorance, selfishness or insecurity, and give them space and a little grace for those shortcomings. But be sure you draw a good healthy boundary, and keep your future spouse first.

Have you struggled with this issue? I’d love to hear about it.

For more on preparing to marry, either for you or a loved one, check out The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness and Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage by Susan and Dale Mathis.