Picking Your Battles

Recently I’ve had several conversations with friends who are dealing with faith differences between them and their fiancés—or spouses—and all of them were quite concerned. It’s funny how nitpicky we can get about such things.

One of you thinks that “post-trib” is correct; the other believes “pre-trib” is right. And the topic becomes a point of contention. So what do
you do when your beliefs clash?

Rarely do all of us believe exactly the same thing. One enjoys traditional hymns while the other likes the contemporary praise songs. One isn’t too sure about God’s healing power and the other thinks it stopped when Jesus died. And tongues? Well, that’s a can of worms!

As a couple, it’s wise to major on the majors, and give each other space to grow spiritually. If both of you have the same belief in Christ as Savior, God as Father, the Holy Spirit as your guide, and other fundamentals of the faith, than you’re on the right track.

Frankly, your faith walk is a lifelong journey, and through the years you may change some of your beliefs about some things as you grow in Him by learning biblical truths, hearing God’s Word in church, and gathering in small groups and other places where you can come to understand His ways better.

So unless one of you believes some off-the-wall heresy that goes against biblical truth, relax and learn together. Be careful not to judge one another or demand that the other align with what you think. But if there are issues you’re really concerned about, talk to your pastor, read the Scriptures, and see what God has to say—together.

What spiritual issues have been a challenge in your relationship? I’d love to know!

For more on preparing to marry, or to let someone you love know about a resource that can help them prepare for remarriage, check out The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness and Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage by Susan and Dale Mathis.