Intergenerational Relationships
When I was growing up, older folks sat on front porches and welcomed us kids to stop by and visit. I remember going from house to house, chatting with several retirees. I would visit my neighbors and happily listen to their tales of earlier days. Sometimes they pulled a book off the shelf and read it to me, including an encyclopedia.
Back then, my grandma lived with us, and there were no such things as senior citizens or adult communities. There were few nursing homes, and grandparents often lived with their children and grandchildren. The grandparents gave the children time and wisdom, and the children gave the grandparents a sense of joy and lasting youth.
Since then, the generations have too often segregated, and I think it’s been detrimental to our society. The older generation has been separated into senior living subdivisions, housing, and senior care homes, far from the joy and exuberance of little ones. Little ones miss out on quality time and wisdom the older generation can offer. And the parents are caught in the middle trying to find babysitters to manage their busy schedules. All generations have lost in such a system.
In Scripture, the older generation is commanded to teach the younger generations about God’s ways. In turn, the younger generation is commanded to learn from the older generation. In a biblical model, all generations work, play, and worship together, and everyone wins. God really does know best, don’t you think?
So although my grandchildren are halfway around the world, in South Africa, my daughter and I make a point of connecting us grandparents with our grandchildren on a regular basis and everyone is blessed! The grandchildren enjoy story time, jokes, games, and conversation filled with love and care. We grandparents get I love buckets filled to the brim and sometimes overflowing with joy, laughter, and happiness. And the parents get a few moments of peace and quiet… sometimes.
We also have the blessing of a few friends and neighbors who share their little ones with us. Their grandparents live in another part of the country, so they’ve “adopted” us and we them. We get together often for meals or movies or reading books or just hanging out together, and we are all blessed because of it. We are grateful these young families include us in their lives, and I believe God would be pleased.
Just yesterday, I hired a nine-year-old boy to help me pull weeds to help pay for missions trip. We had a blast talking about all the little boy joys of life, and he had fun showing me how strong he was. It was a simple thing, but a special time nonetheless. I’ve enjoyed outings with this family, as well as babysitting, celebrating birthdays, going to story time at the library, and just plain hanging out with them. My life is greatly enriched by doing life with young families.
We are determined to bridge the gap, create a lifetime link of love and a lasting memories, and have many deep inter-generational relationships. I hope you will too. If you’re a parent, reach out to the older generation and invite them into your a busy family life. If you are a grandparent, reach out to a young family and become a part of their lives. Will be glad you did.
How do you build intergenerational relationships? I’d love to know!
Trust and Patience
“I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. When you let go and learn to trust God, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust God, you’re able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting,” Joyce Meyer.
I’ve been chewing on this quote all week, and I am finding this to be true.
Through the pain, through the frustration of not being able to do much of anything right now, and through the journey of healing, I’m finding that some of the pain management tips I am learning are quite similar to the way we can grow in the virtue of patience. I thought they might be helpful to you as well.
- Just breathe. When I’m in a painful, tense, or impatient situation, a few deep breaths can help me focus on God and put the situation in his hands. The a song by Jonny Diaz called “Breathe” has been a special help to me. Check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnjeMwxFuBA
- Keep on learning. In this time of rest and and not being able to do much, I’m intentionally focusing on reading, praying, and learning all I can through this journey. When you’re in a tough situation, stop and look for what God is teaching you.
- Take a long-term view of things. When I feel impatient and want to get back to writing, playing, or just living, I need to look beyond the boredom and restrictions and see the end result. I need to trust that I’ll be better than ever and not have pain with each movement of my hand. As with anything, we can become impatient and forget that God has a plan for everything we go through. As one of my life verses says, “ For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11.
- Patience is the better way. It sure doesn’t help to become more and more impatient with my situation. It won’t make it go away, and it’ll only make it worse. So I’m learning to chill, relax, and let time and God bring the healing I need. I am reminded of my favorite life verse, Nehemiah 8:10b, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
- Think of others. If I become impatient, it not only affects my own attitude, it also affects those around me. Showing frustration. Being grouchy. Whining. Complaining. It simply doesn’t help. Being patient and selfless does.
I know that I’m not the only one who struggles with patience. I’m in a type “A” personality, I’m driven to get things done, and I’m a task-oriented person like so many of us are. The journey of being forced into being patient during this time of healing is reminding me to be still, to rest, and to trust in all that God is doing. And after all, that’s the most important lesson of all.
What tips do you have for learning patience? I’d love to know!
Contributing to The Spirit of America
About once a year I have had the privilege of being a contributing author to a book. In years past, I contributed to such books as Ready to Wed, Supporting Families Through Meaningful Ministry, The Christian Leadership Experience, and Spiritual Mentoring of Teens as well as others.
My latest contribution is in the new book, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America. It releases today, and the stories within its pages are inspiring, to say the least. I think the timely nature of this book is important to many of us right now.
If you’re like me, this election cycle has been challenging, frustrating, confusing, and disheartening on many levels. Although our system seems to be terribly flawed, I have chosen to remain consciously aware that we are still a very great nation. We are still a country with so many freedoms, so many rights, and so many blessings that we often take for granted.
America truly is a great country, with people who are generous, patriotic, creative, industrious, and more. We are nation of heroes, a country who helps other countries and other people who are need help. We are a country of traditions and a culture that has a Judeo-Christian foundation at its roots. All this makes our country strong.
When I travel to other countries and see what they’re dealing with–the corruption, the excess or the lack of things we take for granted–its typical for me to breathe a sigh of relief when I get home to the United States of America and am again able enjoy all that we have. My husband and I have been to more than 40 countries, and we always return home with a new found appreciation for America.
But our flawed system can cause us to feel cynical, even disillusioned and angry at times. It is then we need to find a little encouragement, a little inspiration that can align our thinking back to center and give us a fresh and positive perspective once again.
My story in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America is called “Summoned to Court.” It’s about an experience I had on a jury, a lesson that showed me what an amazing judicial system we really have. The other stories in this book can help realign our thinking as well, so I’m proud to be part of it.
So if you need a little inspiration about our country right now or in the future, pick up Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America and be encouraged. Here’s the link.
What has helped you to keep your perspective on our great nation? I’d like to know!
Employing Patience
It sure is interesting how God works. Today I am having hand surgery, the kind where they take my thumb apart and put it back together. The recovery takes several months, so I’m going to need an extra measure of patience for the season ahead.
My new book, Lexie’s Adventure in Kenya: Love is Patience, teaches children to be patient. Now I’ll have to employ a good deal of patience—the very thing I taught in the book—while I have use of only one hand and heal. So to that end, and for all of you who need a bit of encouragement as you learn patience now or in the future, here are a few inspiring quotes that may help. God’s not finished with any of us yet!
“God’s way of answering the Christian’s prayer for more patience, experience, hope, and love often is to put him into the furnace of affliction,” Richard Cecil. Yup, I think surgery might be my furnace at the moment.
“We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world,” Helen Keller. What a woman she must have been!
“Patience is not simply the ability to wait—it’s how we behave while we’re waiting,” Joyce Meyer. Very true. I’ll remember that when I have physical therapy. Smiles.
“Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses, and disappointments; but let us have patience, and we soon shall see them in their proper figures,” Joseph Addison. Hmmm. Got to ponder this one.
“I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience, and to respect the fury of nature,” Paulo Coelho. Interesting.
“Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character,” Heraclitus. When all is said and done, may you and I be found with a new measure of patience and stronger, more godly character that will bless others, especially God.
How is God teaching you patience? I’d love to know!
For the Love of Books!
Several years ago I started a tradition of reading stories to my grandchildren over Skype, and it’s been fun. But the best of all is when they request my book, Lexie’s Adventure in Kenya: Love is Patient. Since the oldest was the model for it, she says it’s her book, but the other two enjoy it as well, and I can’t wait to have an entire collection of books written by their grandma. But it’s not just that book they enjoy; they love anything I read to them!
A recent study out of the University of Nevada at Reno discovered that a child who has more than 25 books in his or her home is equal to a year of education, and a child who has read or been read 500 or more books equals 3.2 years of education! I’m going to shoot for the 500 or more books, and I know my daughter would agree.
It’s easy to impart the love of reading to your preschooler. Reading books aloud builds vocabulary, comprehension, attention, and a love of books. Be sure to use a lot of drama, excitement, emotion, and inflection as you read to hold their attention. And ask lots of questions as your read through the book.
Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, or caregiver, always keep books handy. My daughter encourages reading by letting my granddaughters take books in the car and to their naps and quiet times, rather than toys. She’s a wise mom, and the girls look forward to “reading” books anytime they can.
Put books in the car, in your bathroom, in every room of your house. And when a child says, “I’m bored,” respond with “read a book” to help them know that they never, ever need to be bored if there are books around.
Model the love of reading by letting your child see you read…and not just on technology. Let them see you hold a book, flip a magazine page, or read a paper. And then talk about what you’re reading. And if you’re reading on your Kindle, be sure to tell them you’re reading a book and share a little about it. They won’t know unless you tell them. Why would a child want to read if she never sees you read?
Make reading a social event. Go to the library or bookstore regularly. Take your child to the library’s story time, or start one yourself. In your mom’s group, be sure to include a reading time, or if you have a play date with other moms, take time to read a book. And don’t forget to give books as gifts.
Read constantly. Read signs, posters, billboards, menus, recipes, instructions. Play games as you’re driving, like “Who can find the letter “S”?” Give your child notes, even if she can’t read them yet. Write letters to her. Create a reading culture, and your child will learn to love the adventure of reading.
What are other ways to impart the love of reading? I’d love to know!
A Deeper Look
Today I’d like to give you a deeper look into Lexie’s Adventure in Kenya, my debut illustrated storybook for children, ages four to eight. It’s the first book in my Love Series Storybooks about 1 Corinthians 13.
What’s more fun than going on an exciting adventure with a friend to a far-away place—and explore an interesting culture while learning how to love others as God does?
This beautiful watercolor picture book tells the story of a little girl and her family who travel to Kenya, Africa, to visit missionaries and the Maasai tribe. Lexie learns to be patient meets a mischievous boy who becomes a bully to her.
In the book you’ll also meet:
- Mutaka–a Maasai boy who bullies Lexie
- The Bordens—Missionaries to the Maasai—Mr. and Mrs. Borden and their two boys, Jesse and Trevor
- Lexie’s family—her father who travels around the globe helping missionaries, her mother and her little brother, Cori
- The Maasai—an African tribe in Kenya who have many interesting cultural uniquesses
- A sneaky snake—and more African animals.
With The Love Series, children and adults can snuggle up together and learn how to live out 1 Corinthians 13 principles while they enjoy adventures around the globe. I hope you’ll find your new friends to be a special part of your lives!
Lexie’s Adventure in Kenya is available on Amazon now!
And please leave a review of the book. It’s really quite simple. Just tell others what you liked about the book…the characters? the illustrations? Lexie learning to be patient? The lesson in bullying? The sneaky snake?
What do you think of this book? I’d love to know!