Time for Change?
The holidays are soon upon us and so are the inevitable changes of the new year. Crazy as it is, change is all around us.
Elections. A wedding. A new baby. School. A heart attack. A honeymoon. Retirement. A new home. Death. A promotion. Divorce. A big inheritance. Cancer. School. A new career. Remarriage. Each of these situations—and a zillion more—bring change into a person’s life.
Some are good; some are bad; some are just plain ugly. Some of these changes we choose; others we do not. But change happens, so it’s wise to learn how to respond to those changes well and move forward.
The challenge in all this is to grow through it and allow the change to do its work in you. Whether you’re a tweenager on the cusp of puberty or a retiree trying to figure out what to do with the rest of your life, we must continually deal with change. Though change is a natural process of life and growth, few of us really know how to go through it well. There are the times it can be downright overwhelming!
The reality is that the adventure of change isn’t usually comfortable or fun. And in today’s culture, life is moving so fast and changes happen so quickly that we hardly have time to adjust or respond before the next change comes. How many of us just got used to the iPhone and along comes an iPad with all the new changes? Just buying clothes for my granddaughters slap me in the face with the reality that they are changing every day.
Change can make us feel disoriented, confused, even annoyed. If we know it has a specific purpose, we can usually hang in there and work through the change. But if we can’t see the reason for the change, we can feel distressed, frustrated, even fearful. So we revert back to old and sometimes bad habits to find our safe places to find our balance—our old routines or activities or comfort foods—and that’s okay for a season. But we can’t hide in them. We must move on.
What kinds of changes have you faced, and how did you move through them? I’d love to know!
Winds of Change
In my first novel, the main character has six small children when she immigrates from Ireland to Canada. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been. Many, many Irish immigrants took the perilous journey with little ones in tow. And with each child comes lots of challenges and changes each and every day.
I think most of us have a love/hate relationship with change—and life is full of change! We love how the seasons change but often hate how our lives change with it. Just when we settle into a routine or get a handle on something, life seems to turn our world upside down, and we are forced to adjust to it.
As most of you know, I’m anticipating the birth of our fourth granddaughter who will be born in South Africa in a few weeks. I count the days, the hours, the minutes. I pray and dream. And I wait.
This precious new life causes me to ponder how much a child changes everything—in the parents’ and the siblings’ lives, and even in the loved ones around them, like you and me. We are never the same when a new life touches our world. It changes us, if we let it.
For young parents, though, life is full of wonder and beauty. When a baby comes, they have to change and make huge adjustments—their lives are no longer their own; their time is not their own; their bodies are not their own! Their lives are forever changed when a new life enters their world.
But isn’t that true for us as Christians? When Jesus came into our lives, our world was turned upside down. He changed us, and He keeps on changing us (thank God!). Our lives are no longer our own. Our time is no longer our own. Our bodies are no longer our own. Oh, if we could fully grasp this and live in it every day.
I sure want to. How about you? What changes is God bringing into your life? I’d love to know.
Time to Rest
Dale and I love to travel, and we’ve been blessed to do a lot of it since we got married. We’ve taken trips to Europe, South Africa, Central America, the Caribbean, Australia, and more, and we’ve discovered an amazing tapestry of God’s beautiful world and the cultures of times past and present. Most of our trips are filled with a busy schedule of tours and trying to glean all we can from our time in these wonderful places.
Last week we traveled to Mexico simply to rest, relax, and reconnect. We needed to get away from the busyness of writing my books, and of all the demands of this year thus far. I didn’t even take my computer with me, and that was wise.
It’s always amazing how easy it is to let the busyness of life fill your days and weeks and months—until you long for time alone, for time apart, for time to relax together. So that’s what we did.
We talked. We walked on the beach. We laughed over dinner. We rested, and we found such joy in simply relaxing—and not feeling guilty.
True confessions. Dale and I have one, major besetting sin—we tend to be workaholics. We feel guilty when we rest. We have trouble sitting still. We have an inordinate need to be busy, busy, busy.
And the Sabbath Rest? Argh! We try. We fail. We try again. And we know that this will probably be our ongoing pattern until the day we die. Yet I know I must heed the old adage that I taught my kids, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.” So we try and I think, succeeded a little…on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta.
How about you? Is resting and relaxing hard for you? Why or why not? I’d love to know.
God Talking
Talking about God is not just for Sundays; it’s for every hour of the day. Deuteronomy 6: 5-7 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” But I don’t think this Scripture is only for parents. It’s for all of us—with or without kids at home! So how do you, as a couple, make “God talk” a lifestyle and have conversations about God in a natural, comfortable, and life-changing way?
God needs to be a part of your every day life—your thoughts and actions. Attend church but don’t just go on with your day. Talk about the sermon, the worship songs, etc. Read God’s word together daily, even if it’s just a few verses, and talk about them. For us, breakfast is a good time for us to do that. We also listen to Chuck Swindoll’s radio teaching while we get ready for the day. This has a way of leading us to some pretty interesting God talk.
Be sure to apply God’s truth to your relationship and to your life. Sometimes that takes two minds trying to figure out how to do that. As you talk about it, God can often inspire you together in ways you wouldn’t think of separately. As the saying goes, “Two heads are better than one.” There are times when Dale and I snuggle up together and just chat about a God topic or something we’re thinking about.
It’s also important ask godly questions about things that happen during the day. There are times I’ll get an email or phone call that requires wisdom from God to answer well, so I sometimes talk about it with my husband. And when we watch the news, we frequently talk about the different news stories and how God’s word applies to them. That sure makes for interesting conversation.
Last, if you have kids at home, doing all this will model for them that “God talk” is a normal way of life. Include them in your God talk—in the car, at home, everywhere. And if you have grandchildren, be sure to shine your light brightly before them. You’ll be glad you did!
How do you make God talk a part of your daily life? I’d love to know!
Travel Writing
My latest work in progress is the first in a series about the Thousand Islands, and I’ll soon be heading there to do some research for my first two books in this series. There’s nothing like being there—seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, and even tasting the uniquenesses of the place that becomes your setting for a story.
More than 1,800 islands are situated between New York and Canada in the St. Lawrence River. I grew up just 17 miles from the Saint Lawrence River and the Thousand Islands. They’re one the most spectacular places I’ve ever been to, and I’ve been to more than 40 countries.
Until the mid 1800s, these islands were largely uninhabited until George Pullman, the entrepreneur who developed the railroads sleeping car, invited Pres. Ulysses S Grant to come for a vacation during his reelection campaign. Reporters followed, and they told the country how beautiful this area was, and that started a rush to buy islands and build massive summer homes, mansions, even castles. Resorts popped up, fishing guides got rich, and the islands became a place for the rich and famous of their day to spend their summers. Back then, grand parties and famous get-togethers happened all throughout the summer. Stories of intrigue, wonder, and fun filled its history, and there is much history to tell.
The majestic St. Lawrence Seaway provides passage for huge ships from all over the world. People along its shores marvel at the passing ships, classic wooden skiffs, luxurious yachts, and family boats zigzagging through the water.
The small communities along its shores on both the Canadian and the American sides the river, as well as parks, tourist attractions like Boldt and Singer Castles, make this a great place to visit. Places like Wolfe Island, where my great great grandparents landed after emigrating from Ireland, and Cape Vincent, where my great grandparents became American citizens, are just two of the many communities here that are filled with history dating back to the 1600s.
It’s the stuff of movies and books, and since there are few of either one, I’m writing about it. I hope to bring this area to life, tease your imagination, and bid you to come and visit. I may be a little bias, but I think everyone should have this beautiful piece of the world on your bucket list.
Have you visited the Thousand Islands? I’d like to know!
Being With You
As I closed the brightly colored picture book, my granddaughter looked at me with those big blue eyes. “Being with you is the best thing of all, Gran.”
“Better than jumping on the trampoline?” Yep!
“Better than ballet class or gymnastics?” Yes!
“Better than going to the beach?” Of course!
“Better than cake and ice cream?” For sure!
Ah! Can get any better than that? My little granddaughter loves being with me.
I recently had a Skype visit with my three granddaughters in South Africa. I told Reagan how sad I was that I wouldn’t be able to be with her at her birthday party. She thought for a moment and then, in all her near six-year-old wisdom, she said, “I know what we can do, Gran. After the party, I can Skype with you and I’ll tell you all about it. Then you can go to sleep and dream that you were here at my party with me, and then we can be together and you won’t feel so sad.”
Being. Just being. Just being together.
What a sweet gift it is to just be together! What a sweet gift we can give to others in this busy world.
Sometimes just being means sitting alone, quietly praying or thinking or dreaming. At other times, just being together means holding the hand of the one you love, resting in the knowledge that you are loved. Sometimes just being together means enjoying a rowdy Skype visit filled with little girl laughter and love and joy. Sometimes it means taking time to call your elderly mother to hear about her day. And sometimes it means resting in the healing process God has for you.
Our crazy world is so busy, busy, busy. It consumes our thoughts and actions far too much. We push ourselves to go a hundred miles an hour so that we can everything done, and we nearly crash and burn. Stress fills our lives and the beauty of just being gets lost in the shuffle.
So what will it take to change us? For me it’s taken thumb surgery and complications that have forced me slow down. And it’s taken a little girl to remind me to just be.
Johnny Diaz has a great song called, “Breathe” that has blessed me during this time. He suggests that we rest at God’s feet and take some time to fill our lives with the One who gave us breath in the first place. He implores us to “lay down what’s good and find what’s best.” What good counsel this is! I, for one, want to learn from it…and from the wisdom of a six-year-old.
How do you “just be”? I’d love to know!