The Adventure of Thankfulness
For the past few years I’ve been doing the “30 Days of Thankfulness” challenge, posting what I’m thankful for each day of November. Maybe next year you can join me in this adventure or at least the rest of this month? This simple exercise has had an interesting result—it brings the entire year into focus.
Somehow, intentionally taking a few minutes each day of the month of November to think about all I’m grateful for has put everything into perspective. Gone are the bah-humbug thoughts of sickness, frustrations, and let-downs I’ve endured these past twelve months—or at least lessened them.
I’m grateful for the little things. The beauty of the deer that are munching on my lilac bushes while I write this. The wonder of technology that allows me to sing and play and read and blow kisses to my granddaughters in far-away South Africa. The warmth of a nice home when it’s one degree outside! The colors of autumn, and the many friends I have through personal contact, church, work, Facebook, and this blog.
I recently read these ideas about thankfulness and thought it was inspiring. I hope it’s a blessing to you. Enjoy!
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
—Author Unknown
Add to the Beauty
Sara Groves’ song, “Add to the Beauty” is one of my favorites. In many ways, it’s like an anthem declaring why I write. I want to add to the beauty of life through my words.
As writers, we do have beautiful secrets and purposes for our writing. We come to our computers every morning with amazing word possibilities. And through our words, we hope we can bring just a little bit of redemption’s story in their wake.
We all want to tell a better story and add to the beauty of life through the words we put down on paper or in a blog or on a FaceBook post or in a Tweet. They may be small inspirations, little words and phrases, and stories that help other feel loving community or worth or redemption.
So thanks, Sara, for giving us writers, friends, and fellow pilgrims on this journey a way to articulate what we do everyday.
How do you “add to the beauty”? I’d love to know!
“Add To The Beauty”
by Sara Groves
We come with beautiful secrets
We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls
We come to every new morning
With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold
Redemption comes in strange place, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That’s burning up inside
It comes in small inspirations
It brings redemption to life and work
To our lives and our work
It comes in loving community
It comes in helping a soul find it’s worth
Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That’s burning up inside
This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful
This is grace, an invitation
Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces
Calling out our best
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That’s burning up inside
Switching Hats
Since I spent a good deal of my professional career as an editor, switching hats from a writer to editor is as simple for me as standing up, walking away from my computer, getting a snack, and returning as “Editor-in-Chief.”
Shazaaam!
I know that, once I’m done writing my draft manuscript, there’s a whole lot of work to be done. And I’m so grateful that I can turn off my writing self and disengage from the emotional connection I have to the words I put on paper. I know that many, if not most, writers struggle with this rewriting, revising, and editing phase, so that’s why I serve others as a freelance editor from time to time.
So here’s a glimpse into the editing journey I experience. I hope it will give you some tips, ideas, and inspiration for switching hats and putting on your own editing hat.
Before I start editing, I pray for wisdom, and I give the draft some time and space. I call it “letting it get cold.” Then, when I’m ready to tackle it head on, I first do a spell and grammar check and deal with any of the obvious. After that, I look for anything that needs slashing, cutting, adding, deleting—well, you get the idea.
I view the editing process as a unique form of creating. It’s like when my husband creates something from a raw piece of wood—cutting away the unnecessary, sanding off the rough edges, and finishing it with a lovely stain to make it a beautiful masterpiece.
As I edit, sometimes I rewrite a whole section and make the story a lot better. Other times I delete whole paragraphs, scenes, or sections. Sometimes I dig down in the weeds and use my thesaurus to find better words.
Many times I have to be brutal with my work; other times I have to hold it loosely and know that another pair of eyes and a different brain—my craft group, beta readers, agent, and/or editor—can see what I can’t see. I know that every writer has weaknesses, and I am no different. I can end up with pet words that I use too much. Or I can get caught up in a scene and wax way too elegantly on a point I’m driving home rather than keeping it short and sweet.
Sometimes I’m simply so exasperated with my writing that I get discouraged. Or I doubt my abilities and inspiration. That’s when I take some time with the One who gave me the ideas and talents and abilities in the first place. And He always finds a way to reorient me and restore my vision.
So when you have to switch hats, put on your editor’s hat with a positive attitude. Hold our work loosely and let the Holy Spirit show you the flaws and the challenges. And be open to change whatever needs changing. You’ll be glad you did.
How do you switch from the writer to the editor hat? I’d love to know!
Turning Scars Into Stars
The Merriam-Webster dictionary says the word vulnerable means that one is “open to attack, harm, or damage; easily hurt or harmed physically, emotionally, or mentally”. But vulnerability also means that one is open and sensitive and transparent. Since I’ve already been through the “hurt” part, my heart’s cry is to let my characters be open and transparent enough help others through their hurts simply by being vulnerable and sharing a story of loss, pain, scars…and stars!
In my first two non-fiction books, Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage, and The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness (Tyndale Publishers), my husband and I were quite transparent about the mistakes we made in our first marriages and the hard lessons we learned through the pain, hurt, and scars.
In my Irish Quilt Legacy, I was repeatedly challenged to be vulnerable, for the story is loosely based on my life and my family heritage. As I plotted out my dual story line, I toyed with the idea of deleting half the story line and running for the hills every time I included a bit of my story. I knew I’d have to relive some of the scars of my past, revisit some of the pain, and rehearse some of the most emotionally traumatic moments of my life. And I didn’t want to go there.
But I put it down on paper and then I spent hours, days, weeks, and months facing some of the scars that I prayed would turn into stars…stars that could light the way toward healing for some of the readers who have faced similar pain and scars.
In the process, I fell in love with my characters and chose my words carefully. I wept with those in my story who wept, and I laughed when they did. I held my breath when I didn’t see the answer to a problem, and I rejoiced when God showed up and overcame obstacles that seemed insurmountable.
In a small way, I lived it all over again. I revised it, edited it, prayed over it, and sent it to my agent. And I’m waiting (patiently?) for a publishing contract. But even in the waiting, I feel a little bit vulnerable.
Friends and family will see a part of my life that I’ve conveniently put in a box on the highest shelf, way back in the farthest corner of my closet. Readers, known and unknown, will see glimpses of my character’s messed up life and broken heart and wonder just how much of that is me. Have I been too open, too exposed, too vulnerable? Though that’s the price of vulnerability, I pray it pays off by connecting with and bringing hope to my readers.
How vulnerable are you as a writer, a friend, a person? I’d love to know!
Confessions of a Conflict Hater
Okay. Time for true confessions. I hate conflict.
I don’t like getting into disagreements with my husband. I don’t like having a spat with a friend. As a parent, I hated the constant conflict resolution that was needed when my two kids didn’t get along. As a teacher, I sure didn’t enjoy being the one who had to break up the many tiffs between pubescent girls. And as a Grandma? Well, let’s just say that I sometimes choose to become an ostrich. You get the idea.
So when I began writing fiction, I had a problem. I knew that conflict is a main ingredient to a good story, and if I was going to write good, compelling fiction, I had to have compelling conflict that would hold the reader’s attention. But how was I going to address the very thing I was tempted to run from? I had to settle that question, and quick!
Although conflict is often present in almost every day of most of our lives, we often overlook or ignore it. Hubbie doesn’t want cereal for breakfast. Son wants to play before he does his homework. Daughter doesn’t like the way you did her hair. Colleague disagrees with a decision you made. Neighbor dislikes your dog barking. The list goes on and on.
For me, when confronted with conflict, I tend to self talk, fret, stew, worry, and struggle with sleepless nights. But those ways of dealing with conflict don’t make a good story.
Conflict is uncomfortable, and most conflict just plain hurts. But that’s what keeps readers reading. Like you and me, readers want to know how others deal with conflict, how characters try and fail and try again and finally succeed.
So I turned to my first two non-fiction books that deal with preparing for marriage for advice, and I applied what my counselor-husband and I wrote. We had great tips and guidelines and personality types and ways to solve difficult conflict, and I applied those ideas to my characters’ lives. Bingo!
Because it’s hard for me to invent conflict when I want to avoid it, I had to be aware of this weakness. So when I was doing my rewrites and editing, I often had to add an element of conflict or deepen it. I realized that I was, indeed, running from conflict even as I wrote. Recognizing this helps me be cognizant to include the very thing I hate. As I grow in my craft, though, I trust I will grow in this area as well.
How do you handle conflict? I’d love to know!
“Career Speed Dating”
I’d seen it on TV. Stressful and almost silly as people jumped from potential date to date, wondering if someone would choose them and find a match. And as I watched it, I was so glad that I’m happily married and would never have to do that!
But then, there I was at ACFW, and it felt like speed dating. Butterflies. Nerves on edge. Sweaty palms. Wondering if I’d find a match. It just didn’t make sense.
I had been in the editor’s seat, taking author appointments, for years. Dozens of them. As an editor, I had worked so hard to put each potential author at ease with a smile and a dish of candies. I’d chatted with them and encouraged them in their writing journey. I’d given gentle and kind guidance (never crit!) and tried to help them along the way. I was kind, sweet, friendly, courteous. And it was exhausting to take appointment after appointment and talk, discern, counsel, and gently say ‘no’ to some.
But now I was that author waiting with a dozen others to “pitch” my story to an editor, and I was nervous as a little kitten. Would they laugh? Would they reject me…I mean, my story?
I went to my first appointment and found a welcoming and smiling face. The editor quickly put me at ease with a laugh and a chat before my “pitch”. She was affirming, interested, and encouraging, and I walked away pumped.
My second appointment found a wilted and weary soul who did her best to explain her publishing house and why my project was not a fit. And I was fine with that. I left the meeting and prayed for her—for strength and for wisdom. I knew how she felt.
At my third appointment, I felt like I had found a kindred spirit. Charlene was jovial, generous, and gracious. She was excited about my project, even counseling me to “hurry up and finish it!” Yes, Ma’am! I’m right on it.
So my “career speed dating” wasn’t as difficult as I had thought it would be. In fact, it was fun!
When have you found yourself unnecessarily nervous and why? I’d love to know!