Teamwork
The characters in my novel faced lots of changes in their marriage, and I’m guessing you face lots of changes in your marriage as well. But as we embrace those changes together, seek to understand ourselves and our mate, and work with God and each other to walk through our adventures of change, we can be a blessing to each other and to those who are watching our lives.
But beware! When you’re in the midst of adjusting to all the changes that come in married life, it’s easy to hurt one another—to over react, accuse, get angry, deny, and more. You’ll read about how my characters experienced these things—once the book comes out.
But as we learn how our personalities work—our strengths and the weaknesses we have—we can learn to rely on the strengths, work on our weaknesses, and work together to walk through life as a team. And it’s so important to not let the hurts linger, fester, and infect your relationship. It’s a skill to be learned, but having those skills will help you care for each other better.
From being first-time parents to the preschool years and beyond, when children are involved, change is a given. As you discover how each of you are wired, including the personalities your children have, you’ll find yourself more equipped to make good transitions on a regular basis. My character had six kids. Yikes!
In the midst of change, a couple also has to make lots of decisions. To do that, they must communicate and resolve conflict well, but that’s not always easy in the heat of the moment. People have very different ways of coming to a decision, disciplining the children, or resolving conflict. So it’s helpful to understand how you’re wired before you’re in the mist of an unexpected situation.
All the little changes that come with daily life in a family can simply exacerbate the weaknesses we have in dealing with change. Not only do we need to understand how each of us is wired and work to overcome our own weaknesses, but we also need to learn how to compensate for each other’s weaknesses. When we do this, we’ll have an easier pathway to family peace and compatibility.
What have been the greatest changes in your marriage and how have you worked as a team? I’d love to know.
Writing His Story
I’ve been developing a few writers workshops, and I hope they will inspire many writers to see their lives as a part of a much bigger story that God has for them by sharing Him with others. Yet it seems that these thoughts transcend writers—they are for anyone who wants to touch the lives of others with God’s truth and love.
Why is our desire to connect with others so important to our human experience, whether in person or through story? While there may be a few hermits and others who are anti-social, most of us long for human interaction. We were, indeed, made for relationship.
We are created in His image, the God who longs to be in relationship—with us! Moreover, God wants us to speak into His creation, so He allows us to be a part of His work on this earth.
How cool is that?
We don’t have to have a degree or a license or anything the world sees important. We don’t have to be articulate or even a great writer or some spiritual giant. He freely beacons us to be His partner in speaking His truth to whomever we meet!
He’s also planted a desire in us to share His truth, whether that’s as a writer, a friend, a parent—whatever! And even more than that, He wants to fulfill a very special purpose in our lives and in the lives of others.
When my children were small, it was such a joy to share the love of Jesus with them. Now as a writer, I get to share that same truth through my writing. In my novel, I have included several of God’s truths in the story, and my prayer is that it will touch people’s hearts just as if I were there, sharing those truths face-to-face.
He gave you gifts and talents to use, and He wants you to express them. And He has a unique ministry, audience, or group that only you can reach. He also wants you to deliver a specific message, and feel the joy of sharing life with others.
How can you connect with someone this week and share God’s love with him or her? I’d love to hear what happens. Go for it!
Big Changes
In my novel, my main character is struggling to accept some really big changes in her life. She hates change. So do I.
A single mom is afraid to trust again. A businessman can’t risk applying for that new job for fear of rejection. A spouse can’t forgive and get past an offense. In each situation, the work of change becomes incomplete, the lessons are not learned, and the person is more than likely going to repeat history in some form or fashion.
That’s tragic, and although many of us know how sad this is (me included), we just don’t have to abort the process. We can—and should—find a way to move forward. Sometimes that takes the help of your spouse, a good friend, a professional counselor, or a pastor.
For my character, she and her husband had to struggle through taking their six small children and leaving their homeland to go and live in a foreign country for the rest of their lives. Big changes. Much bigger than most of us have ever faced.
One of the best things we can do is analyze how we naturally tend to deal with change. When we recognize this and then adjust our not-so-healthy patterns of thinking and behavior, we can learn how to deal with change more productively.
Take some time to discover your natural tendencies, and learn more about your strengths and weaknesses. If you do, you’ll be surprised how differently you will react and how much easier you will be able to accept and adjust to the change. I had to figure out that I hid my fear of change in busyness.
Sometimes a change seems accidental or random, and it’s frightening. Often, we simply have expectations that are unrealistic, and we think that everything should work out well, like a Hallmark movie. When it doesn’t, we are surprised or disappointed, angry, or hurt.
If we take some time to assess the unrealistic expectations we’ve learned from Hollywood, the media, or other people, we’ll be able to adjust our thinking accordingly. And when we bring them into a biblically accurate perspective, we’ll realize that they weren’t so random after all.
Other times we just can’t face the loss associated with the change. So we become trapped by fear, sadness, or loss, and we feel embarrassed, ashamed, or confused that we have these negative feelings.
But sooner or later we find ourselves at a point of decision—either we acknowledge it and move through the transition, or we abort it and return to the old thing. It may be as simple as stepping away from a toxic friend or as big as making an transcontinental move like my novel character, but without completing the transition, we’ll likely repeat the lesson we need to learn.
Have you had to repeat something? I sure have! I’d love to hear your story.
The Amazing Easter Morn
This Sunday is Easter, and I can’t help but talk about the day that changed it all—for you, for me, and for all mankind. Jesus ministry on the earth was wonderful. But when we think of how short it was—just three years—and how much it changed the history of all mankind, well, it’s more than amazing.
For three years, everything was going along quite well, thank you very much. Jesus and the disciples were a dynamic team. They were in the groove. They were healing people. Changing lives. They were making an amazing impact on their world.
And then the Last Supper happened.
Sure, Jesus had mentioned that he might not be around forever. But who was really listening to that? They had work to do! Who expected a change like this? There were so many who still needed to hear the Good News.
And then Good Friday happened.
The arrest. The whipping. The crucifixion. The death. The grave.
Everything changed. Hope was gone. Fear was ever present. Questioning ran amuck. Faith faltered. No more miracles. No more Good News. Was it all a lie?
And then everything changed—again—on Easter morning!
Hope was renewed. Fear was gone. The questions—at least those that mattered—were answered. Faith was renewed. And the disciples became fearless preachers of the Good News, completed by the Resurrection!
History and people were changed—forever.
Whether you live in America or Ireland or wherever, when we think about all the changes that came with Christ’s sacrifice—that first Good Friday and Easter Sunday—we cannot help but be amazed, humbled, and oh so grateful for the opportunity He gave us to change too. We can change from death to life. We can transition from our old sin nature and become a new man or woman. We are no longer slaves to our flesh but to His perfect will for our lives.
This Easter season, what would you like to change in your life? To hope again? To not fear the future? To not question God? To have faith again?
Easter changes everything, even today, and that includes you and me!
How have you changed—because of Easter morn? I’d love to know!
Me, a Novelist?
Last spring, I went to an author meet-and-greet, and it changed my life. Angie Breidenbach and Tiffany Amber Stockton were there sharing about their new novels. They were animated, excited, and fun to be around, and when my husband and I left that meeting, I casually said, “I could do that. I could write a novel.” I proceeded to tell him about the basic premise of the story that would become my first novel and lead me in a new career path.
For the next several months, I read a dozen or more books on writing a novel. I attended writers conferences and sat in on novel-writing classes. I researched and researched and researched the setting and history and everything I could about the topics of my story.
And then I wrote and wrote and wrote. It was a blast!
Then, a few weeks ago, I had a crazy conversation with my literary agent. I had a plethora of writing projects working, and I was determined to do it all. My novel. Check. My children’s book series. Check. My nonfiction book. Check?
Why the question mark? As we conversed, it became quite apparent that my excitement, passion, and joy came from writing fiction. Really?
Really.
For more than 35 years, my life verse has been, “The joy of the Lord is your strength,” Nehemiah 8:10b. The Lord faithfully fills me with joy and I find strength to do whatever He puts my hand to do. And it’s been a journey, for sure.
I’ve taught language arts. I’ve had a newspaper column. I’ve written missions curriculum. I’ve been the editor or editorial director of a dozen publications. And I’ve written hundreds and hundreds of articles as well as two published books.
But now I have a new title. I am a novelist! There. I said it.
And it’s exciting beyond words. Everyday I get to dream up stories and journey with God as I write them down. I get to wake up every morning so excited about my day simply because my day has adventures that I don’t even know about.
What new situation will my characters face today? What new characters might I meet? What’s going to happen next?
Who knows? It’s the journey that really matters.
What new journey has God put you on these days? I’d love to know.
Welcome Baby Devyn!
My heart is overflowing! My third granddaughter, Devyn Arielle, was born today, April 4th, in South Africa. Her arrival was the best birthday gift I’ve ever received, bar none!
It’s been a long nine months, but she’s finally here. When I heard the news, my heart danced with excitement and joy! I can’t wait to see her on Skype and—not soon enough—meet her in person.
When I look at God’s amazing creation in the beautiful gift of a tiny baby, I can’t help but praise Him for the wonder I behold. And because it’s my own grandchild, my joy bubbles over to everyone around! A new human life is truly the most amazing part of creation, and as her grama, the awe and wonder of it all can be simply overwhelming.
Who will she become? What has God created her to do? What will this new life hold? How will being a “missionary kid” in South Africa affect her and make her into the person she’ll become? There are so many huge questions for such a little life.
As the third girl in this beautiful bundle of grandchildren, my prayer is that little Devyn will find camaraderie, compassion, and kindness in her family circle. I pray that she and her sisters will be best friends and that sweet Devyn will come to know the uniquenesses and purpose God has put deep within her.
The world that Devyn just entered is not an easy one, so she’ll need lots of prayer to become the person God wants her to be. As one who loves her dearly, I will pray for this child every single day of my life, and I will enjoy watching these questions get answered.
What kinds of prayers do you pray when you see a new little life? I’d love to know.